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Happy Anniversary

You know how life has it’s ups and downs. That’s just the way it is. One has got to roll with the punches, as they say.

I think too many people are taking themselves a little too seriously these days. If the ego was a muscle, hell, we’d all be forced to say that we have really been putting in some long hours at the gym.

So, you see, I’m not excluding myself from the population at large. I’m just saying that I have some awareness as to what’s really going down. And that just might make me a little more culpable than the rest, who are just basically acting on instinct, not giving things much of a second thought.

I’m going to tell you a little story that might shed some light on what I’ve been rambling on about.

It was Mark and Jenny’s twenty fifth anniversary, so my wife, Darlene, who’s known them both since her childhood days, organizes this big old party for them at the couple’s favorite Italian restaurant. As is her tendency, she went more than a little bit overboard and invited just about everyone who had even the slightest acquaintance with either of the two. So she was forced to book the entire restaurant for Saturday night.

Now where sitting at the anniversary couple’s table, what with Darlene being Jenny’s best friend and all. Every one’s having a real good time, classic rock is palying not so softly over the sound system, and the booze is flowing freely. A little to freely, as it turns out. It seems that unbeknownst to them, there had been quite a bit of jealousy and resentment building up against the two of them throughout the years.

If one were to judge by appearances alone, then I guess you could say that their envy was justifiable. They did seem to have it all. Handsome couple, financially well off, even owned this monster 200 foot yacht. And their kids were all doing just fine. They seemed to be leading the most charmed of lives.

Except, of course, that wasn’t the whole story. Being Mark’s accountant, I knew just how bad the situation really was. And when the banks were finally tapped out, Mark went those people who don’t take to kindly to missing a payment. Summing it all up, Mark and Jenny were in deep shit. They had taken to arguing constantly, with Jenny accusing him of running her Father’s electronics business into the ground. Their eldest son was now in his second drug rehab center, having been kicked out of his first.

But there they sat, the perfect couple, soaking up the attention and admiration of all those around them.

And here came Billy Connors, soused and staggering towards our table. The towns High School athletic prodigy, his life took a complete 180 when his knee was irreparably damaged during a football game in his senior year, his Big Ten scholarship now proving worthless.

“So you guys think you’re King and Queen Shit, is that the deal”, Billy says, as he bent over and jabbed Mark pretty roughly on his side, near his left kidney.

Now Mark’s been, quite understandibly, a nervous wreck lately. But after more then a few Johnny Walker’s in him, he was kind of waiting for an opportunity like this to let it all out. So he quickly gets up out of his chair and lands one hell of an uppercut to Billy’s chin, sending him crashing to the floor.

Well, that started the free for all. Mark took a pretty nasty beating from Billy’s old friends before the police finally arrived.

The party was finally over.

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